You Might Want To Sit Down For This One

When I moved from my apartment in NE Mpls back into my mom's house, right after I got out of the anorexia hospital, I had to put everything that didn't come out of my tiny bedroom into storage. I rented a Pod and kept everything in there in boxes. Then, when I moved in with Nick to the Uptown apartment and unpacked the Pod, I couldn't find this one huge Rubbermaid tub. The tub that contained 90% of my Stephen King books, all of my yearbooks, and a few other odds and ends.

I was devastated. For one, the cost of replacing the Stephen King books would have been astronomical, since most of them were hardcover. For two, most of the Stephen King books *couldn't truly be replaced because that cover style had gone out of print decades ago, including one of my favorites, The Talisman. To say nothing of my yearbooks! Those were completely irreplaceable.

My mom called me a few days ago and told me that she'd found the box in her garage! What it was doing there, I have no idea. I can't even figure out how it got there, but there it was, full of books that hadn't seen the light of day in 2 years. My precious! I wanted to clutch them to my chest and weep with joy when I saw them in that dusty purple tub.

This may seem like a boring story with no impact on you, Dear Reader, but fear not! I always have a reason for the rambling. You see, if I hadn't found the yearbooks, I wouldn't be able to bring you this particular gem from 1991.

Oh yeah, baby, that's me in 8th grade. Sexy, huh? What 14 year old guy wouldn't want to get with *that? The answer is all of them. All of them wouldn't (or in this case, didn't) want to get with that. Talk about your chrysalis.